Sex Through the Eyes of a Woman

Most people want better sex however, for a lot of men and women they don’t know how to articulate their needs in order for them to be met. That is a huge bummer. It can be awkward in the bedroom to be naked and vulnerable and then to reveal your deepest desire to the one you love most. Some women fear stepping outside of their wifely or motherly roles to turn into an unbridled sex kitten. Some men fear that their fantasies are harmful or just too taboo to expose.

     For the most part, men like a hard, hot, quick exchange. Men naturally have more testosterone than women so it is easier and faster for them to get up and go. Women, by pure biology, need time, a lot more time (around 30 minutes) to get to the place where men are most of the time. Many women will be compliant in the bedroom but will be deeply disappointed by their sexual feats. That is really sad. Everyone deserves to have deeply satisfying sex. Women can get off by a quick rough and tumble, but in the long run (after the love drugs of serotonin and dopamine dissipate), most women need a different kind of sexual exchange. It is ultimately uninspiring and downright painful to be pummeled night after night. That is why you so often hear that she has a headache, she is not in the mood, or she is tired. Friction causes sensation but also triggers you and her to lose sensitivity. Her body will physically reject you because friction will burn down sensitive tissues and cause pain. So what’s a guy to do?

     Well you could start by slowing down and let her warm up and commit deeply to the experience rather than the race to the finish line.  You might be thinking that you don’t have time for a long, languid sexual exchange or that you need the friction to get off. Have you ever tried containing your excitement so it does not boil over? Might be an interesting late night experiment and I imagine that she would definitely be game.  So often women’s sexual needs are a distant second to mans. This is not a criticism of men, it’s just the way it too often works. Until you goo, the game is incomplete so you pump on.

     Now here is where it gets interesting. Women, for the most part, want a slow burning love while at the same time want to seriously be taken by a man. Women want men to remain steady and firm in their masculine, powerful, directed energy so we can fully submit and become the receivers of that energy. That does not mean the jack hammer approach nor does it mean wimpy, lazy loving where you delegate all the responsibility to her. She wants to be ravished by you in a way that is safe and respectful and honors her biology and physiological make-up.

     It is obviously only a small tease of what you can do for her and does not even go into to what she can do for you. Treat it all with a playful curiosity to help you move out of the habitual groove of your love-making. Perhaps with a new set of tools, you can have hotter fireworks, a deeper spiritual connection, and exactly what you are looking for- more meaningful sex and lots of it.